Some men think that they can lead simply because they are men and boast about it and are really proud due to their status.  Pride is a very serious sin and men and women are nothing but mere dust.

It isn’t because you are simply a man that you will have capabilities to work for God and be powerful and be a leader, but only if you are born again and you rely totally on God to use you as his instrument. See Joel 2:28-29.

Remember that the proud will be humbled and the humble will be elevated.  If the husband wants to be first, then he will be last as seen in Matthew 20:16.

March forward filled with the Holy Spirit and seek to do God’s will, and love your neighbour as Jesus Christ loves you without ever putting anyone down, but instead be an encourager and advance the Kingdom of God on earth pointing not to yourself, but to Jesus Christ.  You have to be humble and depend on God like a little child.  See Matthew 18:3.

Regarding marriages, isn’t a husband’s role to imitate Jesus Christ and seek to serve his wife, rather than dominate her and treat her like a slave by taking her wages she has worked hard for, and then wanting to be the only one who makes all the decisions?  Do you call that love? See in the following passage how it is clear that the Lord doesn’t want people to be dominated. See Luke 22:24-26.

See also how Jesus Christ has come to set those who are captive and free those who are bruised and that includes women who have been discriminated against. See Luke 4:18.

The husband is no longer the only provider and breadwinner for his family, as these days both the husband and wife usually need to work and mortgages are calculated on both wages, so things are different today, and therefore decisions should be joint because a wife has got the right to have a say as to how her money is being handled, otherwise the husband is being dictatorial and unloving.

There are far too many divorces and it is because words have been taken out of context in the Bible instead of putting first what Jesus instructed us to do.  After all who died on the Cross for us to save us?  Only Jesus Christ the Son of God did that, and he taught us how to love.  A marriage has therefore got to be based on love.  The husband is the head of his wife because he carries the seed and that is all, but a wife needs to put Jesus Christ in first place as her spiritual head before her husband, otherwise isn’t that idolatry?  See God’s Commandments.   The wife needs to have a personal intimate relationship with Jesus Christ and be taught only by him rather than by her husband as the Bible says we are to be taught by God. See John 6:45.

Women are always told to submit to their husbands, but isn’t that by force and treating them like slaves, when they are free in Jesus Christ?  That can split up a marriage because it is forcing them to do something out of obligation rather than love. If it is done out of obligation rather than free will, a husband will never be truly loved by his wife because a wife can only truly love her husband when she is not put under such pressure and instead when it is with all her heart, as she has Jesus Christ helping her.

Rather than the men wanting to be the leader in marriage he should realize that his wife is equal to him, as a wife is not a second class citizen who is incapable of making joint decisions with her husband, as she is a mature adult and needs to be treated with respect and dignity . The couple needs to treat each other the way they would want to be treated.  See Mark 12:31.

See how a husband who loves God needs to treat his wife, otherwise he doesn’t know God. See 1 John 4:20. The couple needs to be united the way the Lord wants them to be and they should be devoted to each other and work as a team and live in peace and harmony and let Jesus Christ be the head of their marriage for if the husband and wife are Christians, they are the church.

Instead of the husband wanting to be the only leader spiritually and wanting to trample on his wife’s gifts and talents, he should realize that if she is born again, God uses her, and therefore he has got to respect his wife, but most of all respect God, as God can use a woman as well as a man, and no one has the right to tell God what to do.  See how the clay can’t tell the potter what to do in Isaiah 45:9.

A husband should therefore encourage his wife to use her gifts for God’s glory so that they become a team in spreading the Good news so that the house isn’t divided.  See Matthew 12:25. 

Let married couples be united as Jesus Christ wants them to be and work together for the Kingdom of God instead of being rivals and being divided.

Written by Marie-Helene and Dominic Bradshaw

e-mail: bradshawmariehelene@orange.fr