Marriage is a very funny thing. Although I am a newlywed of nearly 2 weeks, I still look back and reflect upon the life that the Good Lord has blessed me with. I honestly can’t help but remain in awestruck wonder in regards to how I could mean so much to God that He would bless me with the greatest love that I have ever known to feel before.
For the last 2 and a half months I have been an absolute looney tune over the wedding planning and life in itself that I forgot to sincerely enjoy the ride of being engaged to the man that I love more than life itself. I could certainly choose to live this choice with regret, however, I just decided to turn the other cheek to regret and instead simply take the time to reflect.
Dating Nick was probably the best season of my life and I think in some ways, we had a little bit of our own Nicholas Sparks movie intermingled with our love story. I have made it an absolute habit and choice to keep my relationship offline because I felt that it was the healthiest thing to do for us. In some respects that was correct, but in others I feel that I in the past may have been too quiet.
I want to share with you, my audience my testimony of falling in love and marrying the man of my dreams. No there was no white horse or carriage rides, and I think he and I would both be concerned if he were to find out that he were a prince or that I was a lost princess of some far away land. But having the lack of a Cinderella story doesn’t even cross my mind as a new wife.
When God started revealing Nick to me, my focus was not straight on him. I had become so caught up in the way I thought things were supposed to be in a relationship.
I remember having talks with God time and time again after stepping off my spiral path and on to the right side of the road with Him. I would tell Him that I want to meet a man that I genuinely follow a pattern with- acquaintances, friends, best friends, dating, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged, married, parents. That is how I wanted my next relationship to go and I would say that I tried to be as patient as I could with that hope.
Because of how I envisioned a romance to bloom, I would get to know someone of the opposite sex, bond with them, and at times grow a deep and meaningful friendship with them, at times they would cross over into a best friendship. And honestly, that’s where my perception would lead me to believe that I was on the right path.
I remember seeing Nick on a weekly basis and he always caught my attention from the other side of the class, I was certainly curious about him, but again my focus was not in that direction. I remember a colleague of mine actually making a statement that he thought Nick was a nice guy and that he was someone I pursued because apparently Nick seemed to have become interested in me.
It didn’t necessarily help that my colleague was the instructor who has spent his life specializing and mastering the art of learning to read people’s non verbal communication.
As time went on, I remember experience heartbreak and trauma to my self-esteem and being. I laid in bed for days and I could not shake out of the depression that I was in. I couldn’t sleep, my anxiety took over me, and I was physically sick over the relationship I thought I was about to miss out on. Then one day I picked up the little strength I had to go to the grocery store and get the household groceries for the first of the month.
As I’m standing in line I hear this voice say “Him” and I look around to hear the voice and just ask who, all the while I see Nick walking towards the checkout stand around the same time as I did. I honestly felt mortified to see this guy that I had worked with as a tutor and had spent several class hours around him, I was mortified because I was in sweatpants, my comfort sweatshirt, hair undid and I’m almost certain that I did not brush my teeth before leaving.
As I’m talking to Nick, I hear this voice again saying “Him”, and immediately I felt this newfound knowledge and peace wash over me. Before Nick left he asked me to keep in touch while he worked away in Alaska and honestly it was the best decision I had ever made as a single woman. Over the course of the summer we talked but we definitely had our ups and downs I was falling head over heels for the man and I hadn’t even touched him yet.
What I figured out that summer during our season of “learning how to communicate” was that the right relationship has always had to start with God. Before Nick, I had always asked God about making things work between myself and whatever interest I had at the time; but never did I ask “God why don’t you show me the way and reveal to me who you have planned”.
When God spoke to me about Nick, He literally had to stop and make me listen to Him. It was as if He took me by the shoulders and made sure that I understood what sense was being spoken to me. All summer long I kept a hold of what God said to me and I prayed for God to prepare my heart and to love like Christ, to make that my focus and allow Him the control of what happens and how.
As Nick stepped back into the area and came home to live his life after Alaska, in our relationship alone – I have definitely noticed that God has completely answered my prayers in every way. He gave me the man and relationship in the order that I have always seen to be the right fit and most rational, yet He reminded me that I forgot one important detail which was to always put Him first in every aspect of my life.
I can’t tell you how big of a role God plays in our lives as we grow each and everyday with one another. Yes there will be plenty of stories to come about our dating days, engaged weeks, and newlywed season. But I really want to start this particular series off by educating and encouraging anyone who is single or in a relationship to keep God the foundation of it all, because with Him everything will be okay and greater than you ever imagine.
Nick is not my fairytale nor can he alone make me feel like I am in one. Only God can truly place a crown on a woman’s head and make her feel like she is on top of the world and dancing with the prince charming of her dreams. I am just glad that God has always known what is right and best for me, furthermore I am simply glad that I just listened.